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[Oct. 10th, 2008|08:16 pm] |
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Maybe when I feel a little better I will rant but now I am just too wiped to because it exhausted while it nauseated me as well. Anyway I am moving to wordpress. |
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| The light on my love. |
[Jun. 16th, 2008|11:17 pm] |
' I love you, you know how much you meant to me, I try and prove it every moment we have together, but I can't abandon my family, I can't. Myabe I should not have looked for happiness, but I couldn't help myself. I suppose you think I should not be in a relationship, but I had not foreseen... Oh Pipee, I am sorry I am not like you'.
'What do you mean? Don't you want an honest above-board life?'
'You are being unfair.'
'When do you ever think of me? Always their needs, your needs before mine'.
'That's not true.'
'It is. You can't see me in the evenings-- '
'How can you say that? Just the other day I spent the whole evening with you, I went home at twelve, I told endless lies--'
'Who asked you to tell lies? I didn't. Don't you see, Ant, I want an end to all this deception.'
'My whole life is a fabric of lies,' said Astha (Ant) sadly, 'you are the one true thing I have.'
'And you don't want to change it. That's the trouble with married people,' said Pipee gloomily, 'there are always others involved. Why did I think with a woman it would be different?'
Panic rose in Astha. Tears came to her eyes, and she felt a headache coming on. All she wanted to do was drive back, shut herself in the room, and sleep till the end of time. She got up.
'What are you doing?'
'Going home, since you ask'
Pipee reached out and pulled out her dupatta. 'Don't you get it? That I love you, I want you, I miss you?'
'What about your other friends and your work?' asked Astha in a small voice.
'What about it? Work never kept one warm at night and yes, I have friends but they are not people I choose to be intimate with. Either I spend my time here moping or I go out with them, talk, laugh and then come home to a flat which holds the moments I have had with you. It reminds me--' Here she paused, Astha looked tortured, and Pipee continued quickly, 'whatever it is, I don't wish to experience that kind of emptiness again. Sometimes I go crazy with longing, and I can't even pick up the phone.' said Pipee.
-A married woman, Manju Kapur
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